I was never one of those stereotypical popular, blonde cheerleaders in school. I liked carbs too much (still do) and name brand clothing wasn't in the family budget. But I was a cheerleader. I was the silent, behind-the-tears cheerleader for the "underdogs". I had a built-in radar that could detect anyone feeling less-than. And then they became my target and my mission.
Yesterday I detected one of those "underdogs" on the school playground. I kept a watchful eye as recess unfolded. But he found me. With such sad eyes he explained to me that the boys playing football never throw the ball to him. I turned to look at the group of boys and yes, most of them appeared to be the athletic, I-play-sports-all-the-time kind of boys. I knew what this child's heart was feeling: I don't fit in because I feel less-than, but I want to play football too. Recess ended quickly, as did any opportunity to begin cheerleading for my little guy.
Today, as recess had just gotten under way, my little guy came up to me again. This time with fresh tears escaping those same sad eyes. "I want to play football too." I grabbed my "pom-poms" and to the football field we went. Cheerleaders never know who is going to win, but its their voice that encourages, no matter what.
After gently countering the football boys' silly "excuses" for playing without my little guy, I was able to convince the boys to give my little guy a chance and throw some passes to him. (Score 1 for the non-blonde cheerleader!)
I slowly walked away and let the football game unfold. What would happen? Would he be given a chance? Or would it be the same old disappointment? My little guy was in red today and easy to spot running up and down the field among all the blues, greys, and dark colored coats. At least for now, he was in the game and on the field.
Other children caught my attention and drew me away from "spying" on the football game. But the next time I glanced over at the football game, I was the one with fresh tears in my eyes. There he was. My little guy in red. A pass was thrown to him and he caught it and was running down the field.
I can't tell you what happened next. I couldn't see with big tear bubbles in my eyes. But it didn't matter. My little guy was playing football. The other boys had thrown the ball to him. For this one day, this one recess, this one game......he fit in and no longer felt less than.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Sunday, December 25, 2016
"Mary" Christmas, Jesus
December 25, 2016
My Jesus, Emmanuel,
Oh, how Your mama must have delighted in Your Divine birth from her humble vessel. Surrounded by drama and judgement, Your mama gracefully walked the unknown road in faith she could not see. Scared, excited, joyful, anxious, nervous, and somewhat dumbfounded that night. You chose her to birth the Savior of the world. You left Your Heavenly throne to be born into our broken world, through the womb of Mary. You knew the plans You had for Mary, plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). You chose Mary "for such a time as this".
Hope. Hope was born that night for all who believe in Your Holy Name. Emmanuel--God with us, was born upon this earth so that we may not be separated from God by our brokenness. Your rescue mission for humanity became flesh and blood so that Your gift of salvation would be our Hope.
I am certain Mary must have clung to that same Hope. When the road was hard and messy. When she could not explain her circumstances. When life seemed like an immovable mountain before her. When loneliness fought to consume her. When she questioned whether she could really do what You were asking her to do. Hope that she truly was part of something far bigger than herself.
Christmas. The day a humble mama birthed Hope for all the world. The day You gave the world the Ultimate gift of eternal life. We may dress up Christmas with lights, trees, presents, Santa, and cookies, but Jesus its only about You. We simply extend Your love to others and provide the Hope of You, Jesus.
Jesus, may You be honored and glorified today above All. May I always remember the rescue mission You completed in Your perfect Love. For me. For Mary. For the world. Jesus, You are our Hope. When my world seems upside down. When I'm scared and feel alone. When You ask me to walk the unknown road in faith I cannot see. Help me to remember the Hope of Christmas that Mary clung to. You know the plans You have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me Hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Hope for my brokenness. Emmanuel--God with me.
Love and Hope,
Your Jesus-girl
Sunday, August 14, 2016
When Life Feels Like a Game Show
Standing on the stage of a new season. What is familiar lies behind you and what is fearfully unknown lies in front of you. The heat of the spotlight on you just adds to the sweat of nerves and decision-making. Your "village" is cheering for you in the audience. Everyone believing in you; yet silently forming an opinion of the right and the wrong choices. In front of you are a series of closed doors. What lies on the other side of those doors is a mystery to all. Which one do you choose? Which door is hiding the "jokes on you" prize and which door hides the "you've been dreaming of this" prize? Or.....which door hides the "just average" prize? Sometimes the fear of choosing "average" feels worse because we unfairly equate mediocrity with our identity.
Sound familiar? Feel familiar? Life can often resemble "LETS MAKE A DEAL!" The Game Show of Life: take a gamble and win big or take a gamble and lose big. Which job do I take? Which house do I buy? Which treatment plan is best? Public or private or home school? Life is all about decisions and choices.
Sound familiar? Feel familiar? Life can often resemble "LETS MAKE A DEAL!" The Game Show of Life: take a gamble and win big or take a gamble and lose big. Which job do I take? Which house do I buy? Which treatment plan is best? Public or private or home school? Life is all about decisions and choices.
A series of doors on a stage of options. A host encouraging us to choose one of the doors. A crowd chanting our name. Time tick-tocking; reminding us a decision is due. Our fear of making the wrong decision paralyzing us. The door we choose will be opening up a brand new season.
Which door do I choose???
Then, all of sudden, everything goes quiet. I can hear a whisper in the depths of my soul. I can feel a peace of understanding wash over me. I can breathe in the calmness of His closeness..........
You are a Jesus-girl. Jesus is behind each door.
I will walk with you through the door you are scared to open, I will hold your hand down the path you cannot see, and I will lead you to a place you cannot imagine. For My Glory, I write your story. Follow me. I am behind every door you can choose, because "I am with you always".
Matthew 28:20, Genesis 28:15, Isaiah 41:10
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
"UP"---Love Leaks Out
Fun, excitement, imagination, adventure, innocence, and sweet love. Not to mention their adorable faces! I've always been a romantic.
Yet, lately, this image of "UP" has been pressing in on my spirit:
The reality is that foster care is exactly what this image in "UP" depicts. Opening your home to a child(ren) and filling up their empty places with Jesus, love, security, care, safety, routines, and the chance to cope with the traumas they've experienced in their short years. Foster parents tether these children to all that is right and good while knowing it may be required to launch them up and away and relocate from your home to a land not flowing with milk and honey.
It's subtle, yet I can feel it all the same. Short bursts of air leaving my mama heart in the every day happenings; reminding me time is short and precious. The very early stages of launching Emily and Sandy into the reunification process have begun. Quite possibly, this summer will come to a close by moving these two little sisters back into an apartment with their mother and her village. My heart hurts because I know what this means for them.
We have been filling up these girls for close to a year now. Attachment is a very raw part of life. Necessary, natural, and painful all the same. My heart knows Jesus is the Only One anchoring us and Only His plans will prevail.
For now, I watch, I love, I trust, and I pray. Every day I allow a little bit of Mama-love to leak out and UP as I fill these beautiful girls with enough Jesus to last a lifetime.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
"To much is given, much is required."
Luke 12:48 "From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." (NASB)
I've always read this verse and associated it with money or resources. The more you have, the more opportunity you have to pass it on. And with those opportunities comes the responsibility to wisely share, since all we have comes from and belongs to God.
This week God expanded my perspective on this verse in Luke 12 to include strength. "Everyone who has been given much, much will be required."
Hello. My name is Billie Jo. And I am strong-willed. Given adversity, my default is to fight. Given resistance, my default is to push harder. Given odds not in my favor, my default is to prove those odds wrong. Nature/nurture.......or the combination.......this is how God wired me. Good, bad, ugly, fierce, strong. I have a strong personality that just seems to shadow me.
I'd like to think my walk with the Lord over the last decade has helped me to temper my strong-will. Or at the very least, acknowledge it and become more disciplined to keep in it check. But since I am God's-work-in-progress, this side of eternity, I'll always be wired with some degree of a strong-willed default. Making plans, putting plans into action, motivation to try, and drive to keep trying seem to be second nature for me.
Until this week, I've viewed my strong-will in a completely negative light. Somewhat of a curse I need to overcome and conquer. There is truth in that (after all, Dr. James Dobson wrote a book on strong-willed children, of which I also birthed one!). Strong-will can easily run amuck and wreak havoc when left unchecked and unsubmitted to the Holy Spirit. Often strong-willed individuals operate in a self-centered mode with single-vision focus. And strong-willed women, well, that opens a whole other can of worms......
Could I be brave enough, bold enough, or even self-righteous enough, to consider my strong-willed wiring to be a significant piece of God's design and provision for the story He is writing for me? Could that strong-willed foundation be part of the groundwork laid so that God could build upon it with tough things? Heavy things? Hard things? Has God been strengthening me and pruning me and molding me "for such a [strength] as this"?
"To the one who has been given much [strength], much [strength] will be required." Certainly that's not a license to plow through life with selfish desires and fight for what is not God's Will. But what if the strength and strong-willedness that was given to me by God is now being required of me by God? What if God is not asking me to overcome that strong-will, but to surrender it to Him and allow Him to use for good?
Could this week's small shift in my thinking about Luke 12:48 enable me to stand firm when the seasons get heavy and hard? What would it look like to believe my God gave me strength so that I could yoke-up with Him and accomplish His Will in my story? For His Glory?
"To the one who has been entrusted with much [strength], much more [strength] will be asked of him." I don't have the answers to my questions, but today, I'm willing to believe and trust that God equipped me with a strong-will, knowing He was going to ask me to lean into that power and strength to endure seasons of trial. Never in my own power and strength, but in His Everlasting power, so that He may be glorified! Strong-wills becomes even stronger when man submits and God equips.
I've always read this verse and associated it with money or resources. The more you have, the more opportunity you have to pass it on. And with those opportunities comes the responsibility to wisely share, since all we have comes from and belongs to God.
This week God expanded my perspective on this verse in Luke 12 to include strength. "Everyone who has been given much, much will be required."
Hello. My name is Billie Jo. And I am strong-willed. Given adversity, my default is to fight. Given resistance, my default is to push harder. Given odds not in my favor, my default is to prove those odds wrong. Nature/nurture.......or the combination.......this is how God wired me. Good, bad, ugly, fierce, strong. I have a strong personality that just seems to shadow me.
I'd like to think my walk with the Lord over the last decade has helped me to temper my strong-will. Or at the very least, acknowledge it and become more disciplined to keep in it check. But since I am God's-work-in-progress, this side of eternity, I'll always be wired with some degree of a strong-willed default. Making plans, putting plans into action, motivation to try, and drive to keep trying seem to be second nature for me.
Until this week, I've viewed my strong-will in a completely negative light. Somewhat of a curse I need to overcome and conquer. There is truth in that (after all, Dr. James Dobson wrote a book on strong-willed children, of which I also birthed one!). Strong-will can easily run amuck and wreak havoc when left unchecked and unsubmitted to the Holy Spirit. Often strong-willed individuals operate in a self-centered mode with single-vision focus. And strong-willed women, well, that opens a whole other can of worms......
Could I be brave enough, bold enough, or even self-righteous enough, to consider my strong-willed wiring to be a significant piece of God's design and provision for the story He is writing for me? Could that strong-willed foundation be part of the groundwork laid so that God could build upon it with tough things? Heavy things? Hard things? Has God been strengthening me and pruning me and molding me "for such a [strength] as this"?
"To the one who has been given much [strength], much [strength] will be required." Certainly that's not a license to plow through life with selfish desires and fight for what is not God's Will. But what if the strength and strong-willedness that was given to me by God is now being required of me by God? What if God is not asking me to overcome that strong-will, but to surrender it to Him and allow Him to use for good?
Could this week's small shift in my thinking about Luke 12:48 enable me to stand firm when the seasons get heavy and hard? What would it look like to believe my God gave me strength so that I could yoke-up with Him and accomplish His Will in my story? For His Glory?
"To the one who has been entrusted with much [strength], much more [strength] will be asked of him." I don't have the answers to my questions, but today, I'm willing to believe and trust that God equipped me with a strong-will, knowing He was going to ask me to lean into that power and strength to endure seasons of trial. Never in my own power and strength, but in His Everlasting power, so that He may be glorified! Strong-wills becomes even stronger when man submits and God equips.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
"Give thanks to HIM.." Psalm 100:4
#thankful30 has been a theme on facebook for the month of November. It has been so nice to have gratitude fill up my news feed and offset the other junk that often shows up uninvited. Instead, gratitude was invited into our hearts and encouraged us to focus on those things that tug at our hearts as we recognize their value and share with others. While I wish this could be a year round thing, its still refreshing to enjoy a month set aside to remember the many blessings in our lives; most of which I overlook or subconsciously feel entitled to.
This year, I chose to keep a running list in my Notes app so that today, I could look back over November and reap the harvest of gratitude all at once. How quickly I can forget; even in a month's time. My brain seems to have a long term memory for grudges and a short term memory for gratitude. Quite the opposite of God's design.
GRATITUDE November 2015
1--thankful for house full of kids, blaring TobyMac, glow-in-the-dark toys, and a campfire.
2--thankful for giant leaf piles and friends and a 5 year old that belts out country songs with the perfect amount of twang
3--thankful for cuddles with my diva while she waited for medicine to relieve her headache
4--thankful for Awanas that gives Mama 1.5 hrs of free time (and pours Jesus into my girls)
5--thankful for meltdowns with Chick-Fil-A milkshakes
6--thankful for a Father/son band and football date
7--thankful for a 6 mile run with family on bikes and a Daddy/daughter dinner/movie date
8--thankful the girls were able to enjoy Monkey Joes with their Dad
9--thankful for Jillian's love and talent in dance
10--thankful for a counselor who trusts in the Lord and is willing to carry my hope when it's too heavy
11--thankful for Braeden's love and talent in band
12--grateful for a Mama who sends cards of love and hope that let me know she believes in me
13--grateful for the opportunities to write and blog
14--grateful for a clean house compliments of the whole family
15--thankful for a really good hair day
16--thankful for old friends who share their careers for free and for a much needed tax refund
17--grateful to spend the morning with Jillian in her middle school world
18--grateful for Awanas that gives Mama an hour and a half of quiet (yes, I have this twice!)
19--grateful to celebrate Jillian at a special STAR breakfast for outstanding students
20--thankful for the prospect of a God-given employment opportunity for Mama
21--thankful for the Sugar Plum Dance that allows Willie to make huge deposits into Jillian's love-bank
22--grateful for a incredible sermon by Pastor Dan on Thanksgiving from Psalm 100
23--grateful for the Holy Spirit who puts a guard over my mouth
24--thankful to have the funds, ideas, and time to almost have my Christmas shopping DONE!
25--grateful for unexpected employment opportunities for Willie
26--thankful for a hubby making our stuffing while I get to blog, family that includes too little girls, and extended family that is FuN and faithful.
Last Sunday, Pastor Dan delivered an incredible sermon on Thanksgiving from Psalm 100. I was challenged to "be thankful to The Person; not to His blessings". That statement was a game changer for me! I am guilty of tying my thanksgiving to my blessings; not to The Giver of those blessings. I am materialistic to the core. I live expecting God to make my life comfortable and enjoyable. Only THEN do I return thanksgiving.
As I look back over my gratitude for November, I can see material blessings, but I can also see gratitude for The Source of every good thing. The people, the moments, the opportunities; they are all gifts given by the Lord. Nothing on my list landed there by any effort of my own. Everything that passes into my life first passes through the hand of God. Therefore, my gratitude MUST be rooted in The Person of God whose heart desired to give those gifts. To be grateful for the blessings without gratitude for the Giver, takes the glory away from God and places it on my sinful flesh.
This is where Psalm 100 provides an incredible pattern for the "how's" and "why's" of thanksgiving.
How do I return thanks to the God of All? Psalm 100 verses 1, 2, and 4: loudly, with action, with music, in public, from the heart, and proclaiming His character. When my whole being praises God for Who He is, it will be all encompassing. It will become a natural response to His greatness. But I have to be intentional in my thanksgiving, because my sin nature prevents this from being my first response.
Why do I return thanks to the God of All? Psalm 100 verses 3 and 5: because God is God, because God made me, because I belong to God, because God is good, because God is merciful, and because God's truth endures. Why wouldn't I give thanks to the God who designed me, who cares intimately for me, who extends grace and mercy, and who so deeply desires to spend eternity with me that He sent Jesus to redeem me?
It's not the blessings that I must honor and give thanks for, it is God the Person Whom my gratitude must be lifted up to. The blessings He so generously gives stems from His heart, on which I am written. So from my heart, I give thanks to God for Who He is.
"God redeemed this messy Jesus-Girl."
This year, I chose to keep a running list in my Notes app so that today, I could look back over November and reap the harvest of gratitude all at once. How quickly I can forget; even in a month's time. My brain seems to have a long term memory for grudges and a short term memory for gratitude. Quite the opposite of God's design.
GRATITUDE November 2015
1--thankful for house full of kids, blaring TobyMac, glow-in-the-dark toys, and a campfire.
2--thankful for giant leaf piles and friends and a 5 year old that belts out country songs with the perfect amount of twang
3--thankful for cuddles with my diva while she waited for medicine to relieve her headache
4--thankful for Awanas that gives Mama 1.5 hrs of free time (and pours Jesus into my girls)
5--thankful for meltdowns with Chick-Fil-A milkshakes
6--thankful for a Father/son band and football date
7--thankful for a 6 mile run with family on bikes and a Daddy/daughter dinner/movie date
8--thankful the girls were able to enjoy Monkey Joes with their Dad
9--thankful for Jillian's love and talent in dance
10--thankful for a counselor who trusts in the Lord and is willing to carry my hope when it's too heavy
11--thankful for Braeden's love and talent in band
12--grateful for a Mama who sends cards of love and hope that let me know she believes in me
13--grateful for the opportunities to write and blog
14--grateful for a clean house compliments of the whole family
15--thankful for a really good hair day
16--thankful for old friends who share their careers for free and for a much needed tax refund
17--grateful to spend the morning with Jillian in her middle school world
18--grateful for Awanas that gives Mama an hour and a half of quiet (yes, I have this twice!)
19--grateful to celebrate Jillian at a special STAR breakfast for outstanding students
20--thankful for the prospect of a God-given employment opportunity for Mama
21--thankful for the Sugar Plum Dance that allows Willie to make huge deposits into Jillian's love-bank
22--grateful for a incredible sermon by Pastor Dan on Thanksgiving from Psalm 100
23--grateful for the Holy Spirit who puts a guard over my mouth
24--thankful to have the funds, ideas, and time to almost have my Christmas shopping DONE!
25--grateful for unexpected employment opportunities for Willie
26--thankful for a hubby making our stuffing while I get to blog, family that includes too little girls, and extended family that is FuN and faithful.
Last Sunday, Pastor Dan delivered an incredible sermon on Thanksgiving from Psalm 100. I was challenged to "be thankful to The Person; not to His blessings". That statement was a game changer for me! I am guilty of tying my thanksgiving to my blessings; not to The Giver of those blessings. I am materialistic to the core. I live expecting God to make my life comfortable and enjoyable. Only THEN do I return thanksgiving.
As I look back over my gratitude for November, I can see material blessings, but I can also see gratitude for The Source of every good thing. The people, the moments, the opportunities; they are all gifts given by the Lord. Nothing on my list landed there by any effort of my own. Everything that passes into my life first passes through the hand of God. Therefore, my gratitude MUST be rooted in The Person of God whose heart desired to give those gifts. To be grateful for the blessings without gratitude for the Giver, takes the glory away from God and places it on my sinful flesh.
This is where Psalm 100 provides an incredible pattern for the "how's" and "why's" of thanksgiving.
How do I return thanks to the God of All? Psalm 100 verses 1, 2, and 4: loudly, with action, with music, in public, from the heart, and proclaiming His character. When my whole being praises God for Who He is, it will be all encompassing. It will become a natural response to His greatness. But I have to be intentional in my thanksgiving, because my sin nature prevents this from being my first response.
Why do I return thanks to the God of All? Psalm 100 verses 3 and 5: because God is God, because God made me, because I belong to God, because God is good, because God is merciful, and because God's truth endures. Why wouldn't I give thanks to the God who designed me, who cares intimately for me, who extends grace and mercy, and who so deeply desires to spend eternity with me that He sent Jesus to redeem me?
It's not the blessings that I must honor and give thanks for, it is God the Person Whom my gratitude must be lifted up to. The blessings He so generously gives stems from His heart, on which I am written. So from my heart, I give thanks to God for Who He is.
"God redeemed this messy Jesus-Girl."
Friday, November 13, 2015
Exponential Glory
How often do we share the glory after something has either happened or it has been guaranteed? What would it look like to share the glory before you even know the how, what, if, and when? It's risky, but it's real.
It's so easy to invite others to celebrate your victories or accomplishments. What's harder is to invite others into your uncertainties where all may see the end result, but also, all will be present for the unknowns on your journey. It makes you vulnerable and transparent.
Willie and I are inviting you to pray along with us during this season of blind obedience. We know God is up to something big for His Glory, but instead of waiting for you to join us for the celebration (of which, details are unknown), we want to invite you alongside of us for our faith journey through many unknowns.
Please join us in prayer and anticipation of God's all-sufficient provision as Willie seeks new employment. It's been a strenuous month adjusting to God's unexpected redirection while believing His plan is best and yet to be revealed. Blind obedience can often get gritty with fear.
Not only is prayer the greatest resource and hope, but it gives us the privilege to invite others alongside this journey for even greater Glory to God when He writes the next chapter.
With much faith and prayer, we seek God's Will for our family. By each of you joining us, God will gain exponential Glory from each heart turned toward Him, watching and waiting to see what Divine provision He puts into motion.
"If you can't be real, no one will see your Jesus."
It's so easy to invite others to celebrate your victories or accomplishments. What's harder is to invite others into your uncertainties where all may see the end result, but also, all will be present for the unknowns on your journey. It makes you vulnerable and transparent.
Willie and I are inviting you to pray along with us during this season of blind obedience. We know God is up to something big for His Glory, but instead of waiting for you to join us for the celebration (of which, details are unknown), we want to invite you alongside of us for our faith journey through many unknowns.
Please join us in prayer and anticipation of God's all-sufficient provision as Willie seeks new employment. It's been a strenuous month adjusting to God's unexpected redirection while believing His plan is best and yet to be revealed. Blind obedience can often get gritty with fear.
Not only is prayer the greatest resource and hope, but it gives us the privilege to invite others alongside this journey for even greater Glory to God when He writes the next chapter.
With much faith and prayer, we seek God's Will for our family. By each of you joining us, God will gain exponential Glory from each heart turned toward Him, watching and waiting to see what Divine provision He puts into motion.
"If you can't be real, no one will see your Jesus."
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