I just finished reading the book "Let's All Be Brave--Living Life with Everything You Have" by Annie F Downs. I'm guessing I purchased this book knowing I am not brave, and hoping to find a way to become brave. Really, that sums up most of my book purchases--the titles draw me in by offering me something I want. :)
Who doesn't want to be brave? Courage can be envied when we see others doing things we are too fearful to do. But the thing is, I bet those people are fearful too; they just choose to be brave and take a risk. I have always joked that my youngest brother hogged all the risk-taking genes in my family. I received NONE at birth. And none has yet to show up at the age of 38. If there is risk involved, I turn and walk the other way.
As a Mama, I too, have birthed a risk-phobic child. Its better to not try than to try and fail. Her philosophy seems ridiculous to me, yet I operate in much of the same way. When I push her to keep trying or to even just start trying, I really need to be giving myself the same pep talk and venture out of my comfort zone too. But our comfort zones are safe. And girls that aren't brave like to feel safe (or at least convince ourselves we are safe by not taking a risk).
Annie's book had two quotes that really hit home for me. On page 135: "be brave enough to love the people around you, even if it looks like sacrifice and feels like loss." Having just survived a foster care nightmare (my blog--"Get Out of the Boat"), I loved 2 children, sacrificed greatly, and am still grieving the loss of them in my home. But I do not feel brave. I felt called, but never brave. Some days, many days, it was a fight just to survive until bedtime. I'd collapse in bed with tears, and wake up to do it all over again the next day, by the grace of God. Brave never crossed my mind. Crazy, maybe. But never brave. I was simply loving these children as my own, because Jesus asked me to.
I never really weighed foster care as a risk, because in my mind, God asked me to do this for these two children. Period. Which is probably why I said "Yes" and didn't turn and walk the other way. Or maybe, God put scales over my eyes so that I could not see all of the risk up front, because He knew this chicken would RUN! I certainly would not have been brave enough to say "Yes" if I had seen all the chapters ahead and the end of this foster care story.
But bravery was found in love. Love for the Lord who called me to foster care, and love for the two precious children entrusted to me for a season. Throughout the journey I may have thought that bravery looked like fighting daily battles for each of these children. But looking back, I see that bravery was loving them in hard places and then letting them go. The risk was not knowing how long they would stay in my home. Being brave was loving them anyway. Bravery is now continuing my story without them.
The second quote was on page 175: "You want to change the world? Be brave. Be you. Don't try to be someone else or do someone else's brave thing." This quote really struck a chord with me. Over the last few years I have watched close friends embrace their passions and rally people around those passions to make enormous impacts. Sometimes I joined in, but when their passion didn't become soul-deep for me like it was for them, I was left feeling inadequate and dare I say, feeling somewhat judged. I was desperately trying to be someone else and do their brave thing. And to a large extent, they were expecting their passion to become my passion. We all do it; a fire sparks inside of us and we can't imagine that spark NOT being in other people too. But if we all had the same spark, passion wouldn't create change; it would just become the new norm.
I don't need to try and be someone that I was not created to be or try to accomplish someone else's bravery. I can change the world by being brave in my own passion. The passion the Lord has placed in my heart to spark my feet into action for His glory. Any attempt on my part to follow another's passion, will lead me down a path not created for me. Bravery is embracing my own passion; without requiring any followers. And courage comes in doing my own brave thing for God, and with God. God designed me and God designed my passion. So the bravery I need will come in just being me. The risk is not being true to what God is calling me. I want to be brave and follow the passion He has for my life.
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