1st Marking Period report cards came home Friday. Because of technology and ParentVue, there are usually no surprises on our children's report cards. Yet, Jillian's response to her report card came as a complete surprise to Mama.
For the longest time after school, Jillian acted as if she didn't want us to see her report card. When Mama finally had the report card in my hands, I was befuddled as to why her secretive reaction. Distinguished Honor Roll, proud parent bumper sticker, and a Dominos gift certificate. Why wouldn't she be over the moon excited and proud of her first middle school report card?
It was time for some sweet girl talk. We cuddled up on Jillian's bed and began peeling back the layers of her heart. What did she see on her report card besides a job well done?
"I'm tired of being good." "The teachers pay me to be good with CougarCash." "You already knew my report card was going to be good."
Wow.....Mama didn't see this one coming. By now, you'd think my little diva would no longer catch me off guard. But probably what's more accurate, is that this child of mine so often speaks her heart; which mirrors my own.
Jillian became vulnerable with Mama, cuddled up on her bed. And so Mama did the same. Isn't it amazing how an eleven year old daughter and a thirty-eight year old Mama can be struggling with the same issues? I too, get tired of being good. Tired of being an adult. So we talked honestly. I could truly listen and relate while at the same time pouring truth into her searching soul.
This report card was different. It was a reflection of all Jillian's hard work, diligence, organization, and responsibility as a 6th grader. Mama has been completely hands off this year as Jillian has used her wings to fly, all on her own. For that, Jillian could be extremely proud. She could own it! Every "A" was the reward for all she had managed and learned as her independence blossomed this year.
And as for "being paid to be good", we just needed a different perspective for my girl. CougarCash is the way teachers encourage and thank students for the awesome job they see being done. Good students get harder to find in middle school, and so teachers want to spur on those rocking it as students! All the while, hoping more students join in.
It IS hard being good, pushing yourself to do your best, and standing out in school among your peers. To see all that effort compiled onto one piece of paper can leave some personalities disappointed. The truth is that Jesus asks us to press on in this manner. Not striving for the praise of man, but for the prize of being His good and faithful servant; representing Him well.
Mama not only needed to speak these words into her daughter, but soak them up for herself too. Being an adult isn't all it's puffed up to be. It gets discouraging making the right choices everyone expects all the time. It gets harder and harder to feel proud about choosing well when it has become part of your character. Yet, we work as unto the Lord. His praise is all we should seek. Its our human nature that leaves us wanting more.
What a delight it is to share a moment with your daughter and have the Lord meet you right there. Cuddled up in hot pink sheets and a zebra blanket; seeking truth and perspective. When we strive to be good, expecting a big pay off, we're left disappointed. But when we strive to do our best and rock who we are in Jesus, we fulfill His expectations of who He created us to be. If we can bring glory to God by just being ourselves, that's far better than any report card!
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