Surrendering Expectations

     A very dear friend recently told me "you have to set aside your idea of what it should look like; it may not look like your dream".  Within the context of our conversation and topic, that was hard advice to hear.  Everyone wants their dream-come-true and their happily-ever-after.  She was asking me to lay down my expectations.

Expectations:  noun,  plural noun:  expectations  

1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.  

2.  a belief that someone will or should achieve something.  

{Enter my stubborn will}  "I don't want to set aside my expectations.  This is what I want it to look like."  Those same words could easily be spoken by any young child, yet here I am stomping my foot and insisting on something that isn't very likely, at least not in the foreseeable future.  My friend was loving me back to reality and asking me to refocus my imposed expectations.  She could see my need for an adjusted happily-ever-after rather than no happily-ever-after.

"...the sweetness of a friend comes from {her} honest counsel."  ~Proverbs 27:9b (ESV)

     So how do I lay down my desires and my ideas?  How do I put my expectations aside when they coincide with the heart of my character? What does it look like to compromise on the process, but not on the outcome?  Am I willing to surrender part of me for the greater good?  Big questions.

{Enter my BIG God}  I don't need to have the answers of the how?, all I need is the Who that can redesign my heart and temper my expectations.  God can fill the grooves of my heart left by disappointment with His love and compassion if I just surrender.  Stop pushing my own agenda, and allow Him to fashion the dream best suited for me.

"I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you.  I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."  ~Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

     God always dreams bigger for us than our finite minds are even capable of.  He knows the beginning from the end; and everything in between.  I must continue to trust His ways and allow Him to lead my heart beyond my expectations to the happily-ever-after that He has designed.  It will be so worth the surrender of my dreams for His dreams.

       "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."  ~Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)

     Let me be the first to tell you, this girl is still a stubborn, messy work in progress. There are days I hold on to my wants with every muscle in my body.  I've also been known to revert back to those childish temper-tantrums when life doesn't roll the way I pictured it.  ;)  Placing expectations on my myself and others seems to just come naturally.  Thankfully, God doesn't expect the same standard of perfectionism that I tend to impose.  In His great mercy, He lovingly accepts us where we are and gently chisels our expectations into God-honoring dreams.   Perfection this side of eternity doesn't exist anyway.  I need to accept His grace for my own imperfections and learn to give that same grace to others.
     The Lord blessed me with a dear friend to show me that putting aside my expectations will allow the Holy Spirit to lead me to the happily-ever-after that He wants to give me.  Surrendering my expectations.  I can honestly say this is a "Goliath" size battle for me in the present moment, so for now, this blog is

TO BE CONTINUED...........

Medicinal Mud

     I can be way too serious for my own good.  Full-blown belly laughs can be few and far between for me.  Not sure why, it just is.  Maybe because I tend to be an anxious person, but that is another topic all in itself!  With my current knee limits, I knew another half-marathon was not going to be written on my fall calendar.  So this summer, I decided to challenge myself with more fun than running.  I signed up for our local  "Muddy Mamas Mud Run".  Totally out of my comfort zone, and totally out of my way-too-cautious character!  Boy, was that "just what the doctor ordered"!
     What started out as a personal challenge to mix things up, turned out to be one of the best days I've had in a while.  Two other friends joined me in the craziness.  My children were excited to come and cheer me on as Mama got muddy.  My hubby wanted to spectate behind his camera and capture all the nitty gritty that the event would hold.  And my parents got wind of this event and came out to support my muddy morning--what could make parents more proud than watching their first-born get covered in mud!  ;)
     There's just something about peeling back that layer of logic and giving yourself permission to enjoy the moment; no matter how silly you may look!  From the very first Muddy Mama obstacle where I dove head first down a slippery tarp landing in a pit of mud and water, I felt a freedom I didn't know I missed.  From that moment on, it was game on!  It was like I came alive.  Anticipating the next obstacle waiting for me, facing it head on, watching my friends laugh with me as we became messier by the minute, and seeing my family cheering me on with grins spread across their faces (not with mud like mine).  Sometimes you don't realize how heavy your heart is until you allow yourself to breathe in a little laughter--the full blown belly kind that doubles you over in stitches.  "Laughter is the best medicine" holds much truth.
     My hubby did indeed capture every nitty gritty detail of the Muddy Mamas Mud Run from behind his camera lens!  Scrolling through all 215 pictures (hubby earned paparazzi status), I still couldn't stop smiling!  Some photos even cause me to bust out laughing all over again.  As I was sharing the pictures from that day, many friends commented on the way I was smiling through it all.  Well, that smile went much deeper.  It was a soul smile.  Medicine for a spirit more stressed  than I realized.  Muddy medicine that covered my body, but uncovered my joy!  What a great reminder that when life weighs you down with all of it's messiness, look Up to the One in control, and then look around for the next soul smile waiting for you.  :)

MUDDY MAMAS:  Left: me / Center:  Bonnie / Right: Tina