"Mary" Christmas, Jesus

December 25, 2016

My Jesus, Emmanuel,

      Oh, how Your mama must have delighted in Your Divine birth from her humble vessel.  Surrounded by drama and judgement, Your mama gracefully walked the unknown road in faith she could not see.  Scared, excited, joyful, anxious, nervous, and somewhat dumbfounded that night.  You chose her to birth the Savior of the world.  You left Your Heavenly throne to be born into our broken world, through the womb of Mary.  You knew the plans You had for Mary, plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  You chose Mary "for such a time as this".

     Hope.  Hope was born that night for all who believe in Your Holy Name.  Emmanuel--God with us, was born upon this earth so that we may not be separated from God by our brokenness.  Your rescue mission for humanity became flesh and blood so that Your gift of salvation would be our Hope.  

     I am certain Mary must have clung to that same Hope.  When the road was hard and messy.  When she could not explain her circumstances.  When life seemed like an immovable mountain before her.  When loneliness fought to consume her.  When she questioned whether she could really do what You were asking her to do.  Hope that she truly was part of something far bigger than herself.  

      Christmas.  The day a humble mama birthed Hope for all the world.  The day You gave the world the Ultimate gift of eternal life.  We may dress up Christmas with lights, trees, presents, Santa, and cookies, but Jesus its only about You.  We simply extend Your love to others and provide the Hope of You, Jesus.

     Jesus, may You be honored and glorified today above All.  May I always remember the rescue mission You completed in Your perfect Love.  For me.  For Mary.  For the world.  Jesus, You are our Hope.  When my world seems upside down.  When I'm scared and feel alone.  When You ask me to walk the unknown road in faith I cannot see.  Help me to remember the Hope of Christmas that Mary clung to.  You know the plans You have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me Hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  Hope for my brokenness.  Emmanuel--God with me.

Love and Hope,

Your Jesus-girl

When Life Feels Like a Game Show

Standing on the stage of a new season.  What is familiar lies behind you and what is fearfully unknown lies in front of you.  The heat of the spotlight on you just adds to the sweat of nerves and decision-making.  Your "village" is cheering for you in the audience.  Everyone believing in you; yet silently forming an opinion of the right and the wrong choices.  In front of you are a series of closed doors.  What lies on the other side of those doors is a mystery to all.  Which one do you choose?  Which door is hiding the "jokes on you" prize and which door hides the "you've been dreaming of this" prize?  Or.....which door hides the "just average" prize?  Sometimes the fear of choosing "average" feels worse because we unfairly equate mediocrity with our identity.

Sound familiar?  Feel familiar?  Life can often resemble "LETS MAKE A DEAL!"  The Game Show of Life:  take a gamble and win big or take a gamble and lose big.  Which job do I take?  Which house do I buy?  Which treatment plan is best?  Public or private or home school?  Life is all about decisions and choices.

A series of doors on a stage of options.  A host encouraging us to choose one of the doors.  A crowd chanting our name.  Time tick-tocking; reminding us a decision is due.  Our fear of making the wrong decision paralyzing us.  The door we choose will be opening up a brand new season.  

Which door do I choose???

Then, all of sudden, everything goes quiet.  I can hear a whisper in the depths of my soul.  I can feel a peace of understanding wash over me.  I can breathe in the calmness of His closeness.......... 

You are a Jesus-girl.  Jesus is behind each door.  

I will walk with you through the door you are scared to open, I will hold your hand down the path you cannot see, and I will lead you to a place you cannot imagine.  For My Glory, I write your story.  Follow me.  I am behind every door you can choose, because "I am with you always". 

Matthew 28:20, Genesis 28:15, Isaiah 41:10

"UP"---Love Leaks Out

I was never a fan of the Disney movie "UP".  It seemed like such a sad story of aging, real life heartaches, and losses.  Too much like reality that I couldn't enjoy it.  I would have much rather watched a full length movie of the young characters at this stage of life:

Fun, excitement, imagination, adventure, innocence, and sweet love.  Not to mention their adorable faces!  I've always been a romantic.

Yet, lately, this image of "UP" has been pressing in on my spirit:

The reality is that foster care is exactly what this image in "UP" depicts.  Opening your home to a child(ren) and filling up their empty places with Jesus, love, security, care, safety, routines, and the chance to cope with the traumas they've experienced in their short years.  Foster parents tether these children to all that is right and good while knowing it may be required to launch them up and away and relocate from your home to a land not flowing with milk and honey.

It's subtle, yet I can feel it all the same.  Short bursts of air leaving my mama heart in the every day happenings; reminding me time is short and precious.  The very early stages of launching Emily and Sandy into the reunification process have begun.  Quite possibly, this summer will come to a close by moving these two little sisters back into an apartment with their mother and her village.  My heart hurts because I know what this means for them.

We may only have four months left with Emily and Sandy being part of our family.  This mama watches everyday happenings and clings to the moments, knowing each day is likely lifting these girls slightly higher out of my grasp.  Time is slowly leaking the love from my heart as I do my best to prepare for one day in August when I will have to fully let go and release them.  It's as if my mind is already taking snapshots so that I may remember when I cannot touch and see.

We have been filling up these girls for close to a year now.  Attachment is a very raw part of life.  Necessary, natural, and painful all the same.  My heart knows Jesus is the Only One anchoring us and Only His plans will prevail.

For now, I watch, I love, I trust, and I pray.  Every day I allow a little bit of Mama-love to leak out and UP as I fill these beautiful girls with enough Jesus to last a lifetime.

"To much is given, much is required."

Luke 12:48  "From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." (NASB)

I've always read this verse and associated it with money or resources.  The more you have, the more opportunity you have to pass it on.  And with those opportunities comes the responsibility to wisely share, since all we have comes from and belongs to God.

This week God expanded my perspective on this verse in Luke 12 to include strength.  "Everyone who has been given much, much will be required."

Hello.  My name is Billie Jo.  And I am strong-willed.  Given adversity, my default is to fight.  Given resistance, my default is to push harder.  Given odds not in my favor, my default is to prove those odds wrong.  Nature/nurture.......or the combination.......this is how God wired me.  Good, bad, ugly, fierce, strong.  I have a strong personality that just seems to shadow me.

I'd like to think my walk with the Lord over the last decade has helped me to temper my strong-will.  Or at the very least, acknowledge it and become more disciplined to keep in it check.  But since I am God's-work-in-progress, this side of eternity, I'll always be wired with some degree of a strong-willed default.  Making plans, putting plans into action, motivation to try, and drive to keep trying seem to be second nature for me.

Until this week, I've viewed my strong-will in a completely negative light.  Somewhat of a curse I need to overcome and conquer.  There is truth in that (after all, Dr. James Dobson wrote a book on strong-willed children, of which I also birthed one!).  Strong-will can easily run amuck and wreak havoc when left unchecked and unsubmitted to the Holy Spirit.  Often strong-willed individuals operate in a self-centered mode with single-vision focus.  And strong-willed women, well, that opens a whole other can of worms......

Could I be brave enough, bold enough, or even self-righteous enough, to consider my strong-willed wiring to be a significant piece of God's design and provision for the story He is writing for me?  Could that strong-willed foundation be part of the groundwork laid so that God could build upon it with tough things?  Heavy things?  Hard things?  Has God been strengthening me and pruning me and molding me "for such a [strength] as this"?

"To the one who has been given much [strength], much [strength] will be required."  Certainly that's not a license to plow through life with selfish desires and fight for what is not God's Will.  But what if the strength and strong-willedness that was given to me by God is now being required of me by God?  What if God is not asking me to overcome that strong-will, but to surrender it to Him and allow Him to use for good?

Could this week's small shift in my thinking about Luke 12:48 enable me to stand firm when the seasons get heavy and hard?  What would it look like to believe my God gave me strength so that I could yoke-up with Him and accomplish His Will in my story?  For His Glory?

"To the one who has been entrusted with much [strength], much more [strength] will be asked of him."  I don't have the answers to my questions, but today, I'm willing to believe and trust that God equipped me with a strong-will, knowing He was going to ask me to lean into that power and strength to endure seasons of trial.  Never in my own power and strength, but in His Everlasting power, so that He may be glorified!  Strong-wills becomes even stronger when man submits and God equips.