The alarm went off early this morning. Hubby was in bed sick with fever and chills, which meant I had to drag my non-morning butt out of bed earlier than normal to cover the early school schedule for child #1. My hubby has me very spoiled by getting him up, ready, and to school before myself and the mini-me princess even need to roll out of bed for school shift #2. Isn't it ironic that you don't realize you're spoiled until you have to do what most people do every day. ;)
Even though I wasn't awake enough to be totally coherent of my surroundings, I was glad I could let my man sleep. One of those rare moments I can sacrifice and offer something of value (my sleep--he knows how valuable that is!) On go the yoga pants and hoodie and down the steps I go to get things rolling. Lunch packed, child fed, hair up in a messy bun, flip flops on (patches of snow still on the ground), and of course sunglasses--since make-up has yet to be applied to half-open eyes. So what if the sun isn't even up? Sunglasses are must.
Off to school #1 I go with child #1. Turn around, head back home. Wake up child #2, get her ready, lunch packed, and off to school #2 with child #2. As she is getting out of the vehicle, she gives me a sheepish grin and says, "Mom, today is library......I don't have my library book." Add another trip to school to my to-do list. Heading home.....I don't think I remember eating breakfast.
Back home, the laptop calls. I jump on the couch with my yoga pants and DELL to settle in for the pressing tasks. Emails that need attention, phone calls to make, blogs waiting, devotions to read, online research, ministry check list tackled. Pause-----distraught friend calls and needs quality phone time and prayer. An hour later, ok, where was I? Oh yeah, that library book that needs dropped off at school. Heart is still heavy with friend's burden.
Before I know it, I end my conference call at 1:30pm, grab some lunch, Motrin the hubby back up, and hop back into the van to head to school #1 to retrieve child #1.......yes, I'm still in my yoga pants, messy hair, and no make-up. In a futile attempt to appear more put together this trip, I quickly grab a cadet hat and once again don my sunglasses. At least the sun is partially out now.
I return home for my 20 minute "layover" and hit my laptop again to finish up replying to some incoming emails. A UPS delivery and phone message leave me scrambling back out the door in the nick of time to pick up child #2 from the bus stop. Whew! That was close! Time to think about the logistics of the evening---Awanas, dinner, baseball practice, and.......oh yeah, I haven't showered. I need to make a pick-up for a dear friend with a sick family and one look in the mirror tells me the yoga pants attire of the day will not work this time.
Time to finally shower and then cheat by picking up pizza for dinner...........
(But I'd better start of load laundry first........never know when I'll need a fresh pair of yoga pants for another crazy day of real life!)
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
What Aroma Lingers After Me?
Inspired by a recent "Girlfriends in God" devotion, I asked myself a hard question. "What aroma lingers around those I have been near?" As I thought about that, I realized I leave different aromas depending on the relationships I have. As Lysa TerKeurst identifies in her book "Unglued", we all have different reactions depending on who we are around in situations. Likewise, I see myself leaving different aromas with different relationships. Christ should be the aroma my life leaves......but my human messiness can be overpowering.
The aroma that my children experience is often the aroma of a busy mom flying around multitasking to beat the clock. Hurry up to hurry up some more. Always things to do. Very little aroma of stillness and heart-to-heart connection. Lord, break me of the "Martha" Mama and make me more of the "Mary" Mama.....
The aroma that my husband experiences is about as diverse as they come! He often slowly approaches me, "sniffs" lightly, and gauges my "scent" before proceeding. Nothing about that process smells Christ-like! If Christ is the center of my marriage, I need Christ to be the central aroma that lingers when I am with my husband. Not the aroma of a crazy day, or of supper preparations, or of unmet expectations, and certainly not of hormones! I have lots of work to do.......I need to reset my aroma for my husband so that Christ lingers and not my messy womaness.
The aroma that my friendships experience is probably non-existent. I give myself so little margin that my time for my friendships gets pinched and sometimes cut off. Instead of Christ being the aroma I leave with my friends, they are left with quick, short-and-sweet "wafts" as I move about trying to squeeze in my day what my hearts wants to take longer for. My friends can't see my heart, so my friendships must have more than intentions to leave a sweet fragrance of love in their lives. Another area I need to work on "smelling better"...
The aroma that my ministry women experience is probably closest to the aroma of Christ. It is in this arena that I make the most effort to put off self and put on Christ. Not for show or for anything other than pure motives, but I probably view this in my mind as where "Christ is really watching". I know deep in my soul He has called me to serve where I am, so I don't want to disappoint Him. I want to serve Him wholeheartedly and doing so brings me such joy! While I know my entire life is an open book to Christ, something in me tends to place this platform higher and thus I am able to be more intentional with my aroma. I need to carry this servant's aroma into my home and my marriage too! That is my first ministry. Christ didn't call me into ministry so that my family (and friends) would get my "leftovers". Sounds like it's time for an "aroma make-over" as I strive to balance all He has called me to be.....
"Lord, thank you for sending me this devotion and allowing me to take a hard look at the aromas that linger after me. Infuse me with your Holy Spirit so that Your fruit in me leaves the sweet scent of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). Remove the sinful aroma of self and replace it with Your redeemed aroma of Christ!" In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Activity from the devotion:
The Aroma of Christ devotion by "Girlfriends in God"
The aroma that my children experience is often the aroma of a busy mom flying around multitasking to beat the clock. Hurry up to hurry up some more. Always things to do. Very little aroma of stillness and heart-to-heart connection. Lord, break me of the "Martha" Mama and make me more of the "Mary" Mama.....
The aroma that my husband experiences is about as diverse as they come! He often slowly approaches me, "sniffs" lightly, and gauges my "scent" before proceeding. Nothing about that process smells Christ-like! If Christ is the center of my marriage, I need Christ to be the central aroma that lingers when I am with my husband. Not the aroma of a crazy day, or of supper preparations, or of unmet expectations, and certainly not of hormones! I have lots of work to do.......I need to reset my aroma for my husband so that Christ lingers and not my messy womaness.
The aroma that my friendships experience is probably non-existent. I give myself so little margin that my time for my friendships gets pinched and sometimes cut off. Instead of Christ being the aroma I leave with my friends, they are left with quick, short-and-sweet "wafts" as I move about trying to squeeze in my day what my hearts wants to take longer for. My friends can't see my heart, so my friendships must have more than intentions to leave a sweet fragrance of love in their lives. Another area I need to work on "smelling better"...
The aroma that my ministry women experience is probably closest to the aroma of Christ. It is in this arena that I make the most effort to put off self and put on Christ. Not for show or for anything other than pure motives, but I probably view this in my mind as where "Christ is really watching". I know deep in my soul He has called me to serve where I am, so I don't want to disappoint Him. I want to serve Him wholeheartedly and doing so brings me such joy! While I know my entire life is an open book to Christ, something in me tends to place this platform higher and thus I am able to be more intentional with my aroma. I need to carry this servant's aroma into my home and my marriage too! That is my first ministry. Christ didn't call me into ministry so that my family (and friends) would get my "leftovers". Sounds like it's time for an "aroma make-over" as I strive to balance all He has called me to be.....
"Lord, thank you for sending me this devotion and allowing me to take a hard look at the aromas that linger after me. Infuse me with your Holy Spirit so that Your fruit in me leaves the sweet scent of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). Remove the sinful aroma of self and replace it with Your redeemed aroma of Christ!" In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Activity from the devotion:
Now It’s Your Turn:
Make a list of your favorite fragrances.
- the ocean breeze of salt water
- country candles scented like cookies
- Bath & Body Works--"sun-ripened raspberry"
- my hubby's Polo cologne
- my children's cheeks as I kiss them
- fresh laundry
How do these fragrances make you feel?
- free! I associate the ocean with vacation and stealing time away with those I love in a place that I love!
- the coziness of a warm and loving home
- intimacy of my marriage
- knowing my man is near
- nothing like the blessing of beautiful and healthy children to spend my life loving on!
- the fruits of a productive day serving my family and taking care of our home. snuggling up with clean towels or sheets after a long day...
Are you saturating your life with the fragrance of God’s truth?
- daily time in the Word often outweighs my daily prayer time. While I need to fill up on His Truth, I also need to fill up on His whispers.
Who are the people in your life who need to know Christ?
- those precious women He brings to CBS and anyone He leads across my path during everyday tasks. May I not be too busy focused on my to-do list that I miss those faces and hearts who may need to be touched by Jesus through me
What step(s) do you need to take to be the aroma of Jesus Christ to the people in your life?
- I need to be INTENTIONAL. We all have an internal magnet that pulls us toward self. The aroma of Christ can't linger when I am focused on myself.
- I need to remember that my purpose is to reflect Christ; not to reflect Billie Jo.
- Do my words and actions smell sweet of service to Jesus or sour of busyness to me?
- Lord, I invite you into my day. Please mold me and change me so that I leave Your aroma everywhere You send me today.......
The Aroma of Christ devotion by "Girlfriends in God"
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Christ Redeems the Sanctity of Marriage from Divorce
I have become acutely aware of the attack on marriages over the past year. Primarily due to the attack my own marriage has suffered. It's amazing how during your own season of suffering, the Lord leads you to others who are suffering in that same season. It's as if I have on 3-D glasses that gives me eyes for hurting marriages. Marriages are falling apart everywhere; there is no arena that is not suffering from this attack. The number of marriage "fatalities" continues to climb......and my heart breaks for those whose hearts are breaking without Hope.
It seems Satan is using the facet of marriage to ramp up his dirty work. By tearing apart the union closest to God's heart, Satan is undermining the sanctity of marriage, and thus attempting to undermine Christ. Marriage is the relationship designed by God to reflect the relationship Christ has with His Church. Satan is personally attacking God by amputating husbands and wives from one another, thus leaving us to limp along with handicapped marriages and divorce of staggering proportions. Satan is infiltrating our minds with thoughts that marriage can be easily divorced. No longer is the marriage covenant considered sacred or binding.
Satan declares war on marriage by shifting our focus to self and our wants and expectations, and then allowing our own spiral of selfishness to pull us away from Christ. How simple, yet destructive, a battle plan. The enemy just turns us over to our natural sinful nature--self. The world is his ally and diligently works with him to entice, entitle, and convince us we need or deserve better than what we have. Your typical, "the grass is greener on the other side" mentality. "Going green" in marriage means removing the philosophy of fixing what is broken. Instead, we are encouraged to seek to replace marriage with a greener, more appealing life that "we deserve". If marriage is messy, simply dispose of it. We live in a world that is focused on fast, convenient, and disposable. This self gratification leads to a lack of permanence in our marriages.
Satan highlights self, which becomes our biggest enemy. This is exactly where I found myself a few months ago. Marriage, as it was, wasn't working for me. I made it all about me. It was easier to just want out instead of seeking my part of the solution. If he wasn't going to change into what I wanted, then I couldn't do this anymore. I gave very little regard for the battle he was engaged in. I was not supporting him from my own pit. Instead of being his cheerleader as a wife should be, I allowed my disappointment and hurt to become rotten apples I threw at him while booing him off the husband field. Satan distracted my focus from the marriage covenant to the worship of self. Satan used past baggage to convince me I needed to pack up and move on. I was convinced nothing would ever change. Satan was winning in our marriage because we were both focused on self.
Our marriage was at another crossroads. Would we continue to fight WITH one another or would we choose to fight FOR one another? Would we claim the promises of Christ that we established our marriage on, or would we give in to the world's standards and simply divorce the sanctity of our marriage? Today, I am praising the Lord that our marriage victory belongs to Christ! Christ trumps self and thus defeats Satan and his tactics to sever marriages. The Christ in our marriage is stronger than the enemy's pull that threatened to dissolve our marriage vows. We chose marriage and the covenant we made with God fifteen years ago. We surrendered our marriage to the One who joined us together and trust Him daily for the means to make this work. In our own strength we fail 100% of the time. In His strength we succeed 100% of the time. What is humanly impossible is Divinely Possible.
Was it a switch that flipped from thoughts of divorce to happily-ever-after? NO. It's a struggle, to some degree, everyday. He is fighting against his formative childhood, the easier path of passivity, the unnatural element of communication, and the negative chatter inside his mind. But he is no longer fighting against me; he is fighting for me. I am fighting against paralyzing insecurities and fear, fluctuating hormones, becoming emotionally unglued, and unrealistic expectations. But I am no longer fighting against him; I am fighting for him. There is only One reason the battle for our marriage was diverted from the path towards divorce. That reason is CHRIST! He alone saved our marriage.
My heart is heavily burdened for the disintegrating marriages that seem to be rapidly on the rise. My heart hurts for the ways in which Satan is diluting marriage to a disposable entity. The Father of Lies is convincing us that there is no other option than to divorce our marriages. Satan is succeeding (for now) to undermine the Christ in us and in our marriages. He is wreaking havoc on the unity of marriages, homes, and families. We are accepting our brokenness far too easily and choosing paths that steer us away from one another, and ultimately away from the Greatest Power available to us! Marriages everywhere need to know that Christ is the answer to any marriage struggling for its next breath.
Marriage is one of the hardest jobs we have been given in this fallen world. Two messy people are to become one flesh and meet the other's needs which are fundamentally opposite of their own. Is it any wonder that disaster strikes??? Again, I am drawn to the marriage parallel of Christ and His Church. Christ--fully God and fully man and without sin--came to our sinful world to die for a people who despised and rejected His salvation while stubbornly choosing to cling to the destructive ways of their sins. Without Christ, sin is all we know. We are the polar opposite of Christ. We are separated from God by our sin and He simply asks us to trust Christ for the forgiveness of those sins. Yet, this simplicity is the ONLY WAY! CHRIST IS THE ONLY WAY TO REDEMPTION! The same goes for marriages. Christ is the only way a man and a woman (polar opposites if you ask me) can be united and hearts tied together in love for a lifetime. A lifetime of love, forgiveness, grace, sacrifice, yielding, submission, and daily choosing one another over self. We cannot do marriage on our own; we must be rescued from our selfishness and redeemed as one in Christ. Christ is the difference between eternal life and death and Christ is the difference between marriage and divorce. What is humanly impossible is Divinely Possible.
The bottom line, when we give up on our marriages, we are telling God He is not big enough to fix our mess. We are choosing to walk away and hit the reset button. I am aware of the familiar Bible verse that gives infidelity veto power over marriage. However, I will passionately argue against that by claiming the power of Christ over it. I am aware of the extenuating circumstances of abuse. I am also aware that the efforts of only one spouse cannot necessarily be enough to jump-start reconciliation. No two marriages are the same, nor can they all be covered by a blanket of black and white reasoning. I do know, that no marriage is beyond Christ's redemption. No human, male or female, is beyond Christ's redemption. No baggage is beyond Christ's restitution. The same power that raised Christ from the dead, is alive and living in us and in our marriages. I just wonder why we are so quick to "choose life" for the unborn, yet we seem to be just as quick to "choose divorce" for the union made before God? God created both. We are aghast at ending life, yet numb to ending marriages. Myself included. How quickly I pulled the "eject" cord in my mind and in my heart during a time of marital crisis. I will be forever grateful for Christ's forgiveness of that and for His redeeming power in my marriage. He gets the Glory. Our story for His Glory! Our marriage for His Glory!
My heart aches for marriages to claim the awesome power of our Redeemer and resist the pull of the enemy to divorce the sanctity of our marriages. Satan rejoices when we give up and take Christ out of the marital equation. When we divorce the sanctity of marriage, we remove the power of Christ, of which there is no greater power.
"For Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world" ~1 John 4:4
We have claimed that unparalleled power of Christ for our marriage today and every hard day ahead. We now passionately share the power of Christ with every marriage being attacked by the enemy's forces.
Passion is born from redemption.
"Your internal passion determines external reach" ~The Catalyst Leader by Brad Lomenick
It seems Satan is using the facet of marriage to ramp up his dirty work. By tearing apart the union closest to God's heart, Satan is undermining the sanctity of marriage, and thus attempting to undermine Christ. Marriage is the relationship designed by God to reflect the relationship Christ has with His Church. Satan is personally attacking God by amputating husbands and wives from one another, thus leaving us to limp along with handicapped marriages and divorce of staggering proportions. Satan is infiltrating our minds with thoughts that marriage can be easily divorced. No longer is the marriage covenant considered sacred or binding.
Satan declares war on marriage by shifting our focus to self and our wants and expectations, and then allowing our own spiral of selfishness to pull us away from Christ. How simple, yet destructive, a battle plan. The enemy just turns us over to our natural sinful nature--self. The world is his ally and diligently works with him to entice, entitle, and convince us we need or deserve better than what we have. Your typical, "the grass is greener on the other side" mentality. "Going green" in marriage means removing the philosophy of fixing what is broken. Instead, we are encouraged to seek to replace marriage with a greener, more appealing life that "we deserve". If marriage is messy, simply dispose of it. We live in a world that is focused on fast, convenient, and disposable. This self gratification leads to a lack of permanence in our marriages.
Satan highlights self, which becomes our biggest enemy. This is exactly where I found myself a few months ago. Marriage, as it was, wasn't working for me. I made it all about me. It was easier to just want out instead of seeking my part of the solution. If he wasn't going to change into what I wanted, then I couldn't do this anymore. I gave very little regard for the battle he was engaged in. I was not supporting him from my own pit. Instead of being his cheerleader as a wife should be, I allowed my disappointment and hurt to become rotten apples I threw at him while booing him off the husband field. Satan distracted my focus from the marriage covenant to the worship of self. Satan used past baggage to convince me I needed to pack up and move on. I was convinced nothing would ever change. Satan was winning in our marriage because we were both focused on self.
Our marriage was at another crossroads. Would we continue to fight WITH one another or would we choose to fight FOR one another? Would we claim the promises of Christ that we established our marriage on, or would we give in to the world's standards and simply divorce the sanctity of our marriage? Today, I am praising the Lord that our marriage victory belongs to Christ! Christ trumps self and thus defeats Satan and his tactics to sever marriages. The Christ in our marriage is stronger than the enemy's pull that threatened to dissolve our marriage vows. We chose marriage and the covenant we made with God fifteen years ago. We surrendered our marriage to the One who joined us together and trust Him daily for the means to make this work. In our own strength we fail 100% of the time. In His strength we succeed 100% of the time. What is humanly impossible is Divinely Possible.
Was it a switch that flipped from thoughts of divorce to happily-ever-after? NO. It's a struggle, to some degree, everyday. He is fighting against his formative childhood, the easier path of passivity, the unnatural element of communication, and the negative chatter inside his mind. But he is no longer fighting against me; he is fighting for me. I am fighting against paralyzing insecurities and fear, fluctuating hormones, becoming emotionally unglued, and unrealistic expectations. But I am no longer fighting against him; I am fighting for him. There is only One reason the battle for our marriage was diverted from the path towards divorce. That reason is CHRIST! He alone saved our marriage.
My heart is heavily burdened for the disintegrating marriages that seem to be rapidly on the rise. My heart hurts for the ways in which Satan is diluting marriage to a disposable entity. The Father of Lies is convincing us that there is no other option than to divorce our marriages. Satan is succeeding (for now) to undermine the Christ in us and in our marriages. He is wreaking havoc on the unity of marriages, homes, and families. We are accepting our brokenness far too easily and choosing paths that steer us away from one another, and ultimately away from the Greatest Power available to us! Marriages everywhere need to know that Christ is the answer to any marriage struggling for its next breath.
Marriage is one of the hardest jobs we have been given in this fallen world. Two messy people are to become one flesh and meet the other's needs which are fundamentally opposite of their own. Is it any wonder that disaster strikes??? Again, I am drawn to the marriage parallel of Christ and His Church. Christ--fully God and fully man and without sin--came to our sinful world to die for a people who despised and rejected His salvation while stubbornly choosing to cling to the destructive ways of their sins. Without Christ, sin is all we know. We are the polar opposite of Christ. We are separated from God by our sin and He simply asks us to trust Christ for the forgiveness of those sins. Yet, this simplicity is the ONLY WAY! CHRIST IS THE ONLY WAY TO REDEMPTION! The same goes for marriages. Christ is the only way a man and a woman (polar opposites if you ask me) can be united and hearts tied together in love for a lifetime. A lifetime of love, forgiveness, grace, sacrifice, yielding, submission, and daily choosing one another over self. We cannot do marriage on our own; we must be rescued from our selfishness and redeemed as one in Christ. Christ is the difference between eternal life and death and Christ is the difference between marriage and divorce. What is humanly impossible is Divinely Possible.
The bottom line, when we give up on our marriages, we are telling God He is not big enough to fix our mess. We are choosing to walk away and hit the reset button. I am aware of the familiar Bible verse that gives infidelity veto power over marriage. However, I will passionately argue against that by claiming the power of Christ over it. I am aware of the extenuating circumstances of abuse. I am also aware that the efforts of only one spouse cannot necessarily be enough to jump-start reconciliation. No two marriages are the same, nor can they all be covered by a blanket of black and white reasoning. I do know, that no marriage is beyond Christ's redemption. No human, male or female, is beyond Christ's redemption. No baggage is beyond Christ's restitution. The same power that raised Christ from the dead, is alive and living in us and in our marriages. I just wonder why we are so quick to "choose life" for the unborn, yet we seem to be just as quick to "choose divorce" for the union made before God? God created both. We are aghast at ending life, yet numb to ending marriages. Myself included. How quickly I pulled the "eject" cord in my mind and in my heart during a time of marital crisis. I will be forever grateful for Christ's forgiveness of that and for His redeeming power in my marriage. He gets the Glory. Our story for His Glory! Our marriage for His Glory!
My heart aches for marriages to claim the awesome power of our Redeemer and resist the pull of the enemy to divorce the sanctity of our marriages. Satan rejoices when we give up and take Christ out of the marital equation. When we divorce the sanctity of marriage, we remove the power of Christ, of which there is no greater power.
"For Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world" ~1 John 4:4
We have claimed that unparalleled power of Christ for our marriage today and every hard day ahead. We now passionately share the power of Christ with every marriage being attacked by the enemy's forces.
Passion is born from redemption.
"Your internal passion determines external reach" ~The Catalyst Leader by Brad Lomenick
Friday, February 28, 2014
The Collision of "His Needs" and "Her Needs"
This week has been hard. Very hard. It's been one of those marital collisions of "his needs" and "her needs" where one person has to walk away the loser. The one thing we both needed was the one thing neither of us was in a position to give. We were both being asked big things of us, but those things pulled us in opposite directions. There was no middle ground or compromise this time. I just wish this collision hadn't left me thrown under the bus. But it did, because I am not as strong as he is. Toss in the ingredient of shame for how I mishandled my needs and hurt, and we have a recipe for mess, with a capital M! So now we're left to sort out all the emotions and begin to process our hurt without placing blame. Being real sometimes means being raw.
Life under the bus hurts. I feel alone, weak, not valued, disappointed, angry, wounded, shamed, and probably deep down betrayed, even though that is not the case. Top all those with guilt because I know the Lord allowed this collision and will use it for His good, and I feel like a hot mess today.
I know I shouldn't feel all of those things towards him, but I do. I know there was little he could have done different, but I needed him to. I know I was wrong in my reactions, but I reacted anyway. I know I am weak with faulty wiring, but I needed more than he gave. I know that I should only need Him, but I didn't. I needed my husband and he needed me to be stronger than I was. Even midst my raw human emotions, God is present and will sort out the mess; restoring me to the woman He molds. Its the process that is painful.
His needs and her needs seem to always be in such contrast, yet love requires putting the needs of your spouse above your own. What does that look like? How do I do that when my needs already feel huge? This week, that looked like sleeplessness, loss of appetite, stress, fatigue, sickness, and raw holes in my soul. I wish I could say that I made the selfless choice of putting his needs first, but I didn't. There was no choice made on my part. It was survival mode because the choice had already been made. And for me, that meant just riding out the waves. This was not the week I needed to be asked to be who I haven't been before---strong enough.
So how do I become strong enough? Christ in me is certainly strong enough. He is MORE than strong enough. But that doesn't always equate to human strength. What keeps His strength from becoming my strength? I don't know. Maybe I don't surrender it all to Him? Maybe I hang on to the comfort of fear and weakness rather than let it go and trust Him for security? Maybe I wrongly equate security with not having any fear? Who knows. Humans will always struggle with being humans.
My process of sorting through the spectrum of emotions will continue. I'm sure much needed sleep and quiet time with the Lord will provide the recovery needed from this week. His needs and her needs will always continue to be an element of marriage that beckons to be reconciled. Each one attempting to die to self and put the other's needs first. We will continue to fail many times. Circumstances will be thrown our way leaving little options for both to come out winners. But I am so thankful for God's promise.....
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back to conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." ~Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
Matthew West---"Strong Enough" music video
Life under the bus hurts. I feel alone, weak, not valued, disappointed, angry, wounded, shamed, and probably deep down betrayed, even though that is not the case. Top all those with guilt because I know the Lord allowed this collision and will use it for His good, and I feel like a hot mess today.
I know I shouldn't feel all of those things towards him, but I do. I know there was little he could have done different, but I needed him to. I know I was wrong in my reactions, but I reacted anyway. I know I am weak with faulty wiring, but I needed more than he gave. I know that I should only need Him, but I didn't. I needed my husband and he needed me to be stronger than I was. Even midst my raw human emotions, God is present and will sort out the mess; restoring me to the woman He molds. Its the process that is painful.
His needs and her needs seem to always be in such contrast, yet love requires putting the needs of your spouse above your own. What does that look like? How do I do that when my needs already feel huge? This week, that looked like sleeplessness, loss of appetite, stress, fatigue, sickness, and raw holes in my soul. I wish I could say that I made the selfless choice of putting his needs first, but I didn't. There was no choice made on my part. It was survival mode because the choice had already been made. And for me, that meant just riding out the waves. This was not the week I needed to be asked to be who I haven't been before---strong enough.
So how do I become strong enough? Christ in me is certainly strong enough. He is MORE than strong enough. But that doesn't always equate to human strength. What keeps His strength from becoming my strength? I don't know. Maybe I don't surrender it all to Him? Maybe I hang on to the comfort of fear and weakness rather than let it go and trust Him for security? Maybe I wrongly equate security with not having any fear? Who knows. Humans will always struggle with being humans.
My process of sorting through the spectrum of emotions will continue. I'm sure much needed sleep and quiet time with the Lord will provide the recovery needed from this week. His needs and her needs will always continue to be an element of marriage that beckons to be reconciled. Each one attempting to die to self and put the other's needs first. We will continue to fail many times. Circumstances will be thrown our way leaving little options for both to come out winners. But I am so thankful for God's promise.....
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back to conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." ~Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
Matthew West---"Strong Enough" music video
Friday, February 14, 2014
The KrazyGlue in Our Love Story
So many times over this past year I have wanted to sit down and put my thoughts of marriage into words. The messiness of our marriage just seemed to make for a messy message every time. So I avoided forming words until things moved away from disorder and closer to order. Today as I reflect upon last Valentines Day and the year in between, my heart is ready to share the chapter of our love story marked by God's KrazyGlue.....
Valentines Day 2013 "Cupid" shot love darts all through my day. Willie left love notes and gifts to my heart in every part of my day.....when my head hit the pillow that night, I felt loved and cherished to my very core. He "knocked it out of the park" as we tease each other in his familiar baseball language. The perfection of that day will always be remembered, however it was unrealistic to think it would carry us through the other 364 days of that year. Ups and downs continued. Marriage swung between messy and marvelous. As we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in Turks & Caicos, we once again experienced a mountain-top like none other and our marriage soared to new heights. Again, not enough to realistically carry us through the remaining days that year. We struggled. We fought. We hurt. We loved. Cycles repeated themselves and the roller coaster never seemed to end. Trusted friends gave godly counsel. Countless prayers were lifted. Marriage counseling was sought. Mentors were found. Our heads knew God was in this, yet our hearts hurt from the humanness that steers us away from one another; focusing on our own brokenness and expectations. Broken pieces in desperate need of glue.....God's KrazyGlue.
We continued moving forward, even when at times we didn't know how we would make it one more day as a couple. Too many pieces and fragments to know how to rebuild our marriage. Through God's grace, we faithfully and painstakingly trusted God and exercised much patience, grace, and love. Through God's grace our marriage slowly began to look more like what God designed us to be. We both brought baggage into our marriage and both contributed to accumulating more over our years together. Marriage is hard work and not always roses and chocolates. Two messy people joining as one do not cancel out the other's messy; we just make a bigger mess together. :)
Looking back over the past year, I can see God's hands with us in every moment together and every person He sent across our path. He never left us alone, nor did He allow our brokenness to defeat what He joined together for forever. While we were focusing on putting the pieces back together to be what our marriage "used to be", God knew He could glue our pieces back together to make a new marriage. The love of Christ in us is the KrazyGlue of love that binds our hearts together. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39), and when He is the center of our marriage, nothing can separate us from one another. We are KrazyGlued together, forever.
This Valentines Day, 2014, we can look back and see how God became (or should I say, has always been) the KrazyGlue in our love story. He never let anything pull us apart and He promises that nothing ever will. Will there still be trials? Yes. Will there be seasons of regression? Yes. Will there be moments when marriage gets messy again? YES! There is no perfect wife or perfect husband, so there is no perfect marriage. BUT, there is a perfect God who glues two broken pieces together in such a way that they become the strength of the adhesive love between them and thus, inseparable with the love of Christ!
While the memories of the amazing Valentines Day last year are still fresh, and can threaten to create expectations for a repeat this year, our simple gifts this year of a WillowTree "Together" couple and a homemade banana cream pie reflect far more intimate gifts. We are together, holding one another tightly; knowing each other's heart and what makes them feel loved. The greatest Valentine's gift this year is the season in our marriage marked with God's KrazyGlue.
Resources that I highly recommend for marriages:
#1 is God's Holy Word. Read the Bible and pray together DAILY
http://lysaterkeurst.com/capture-his-heart/
http://lysaterkeurst.com/capture-her-heart
http://sharonjaynes.com/store/products/becoming-the-woman-of-his-dreams/
http://therespectdare.com/about-the-book
http://sharonjaynes.com/praying-for-your-husband/
http://www.familylife.com/audio
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/momentstogether/
http://drjamesdobson.org/broadcasts/archive
http://mensteppingup.com/
http://www.mansfieldsbookofmanlymen.com/
http://beyondordinary.refineus.org/
Valentines Day 2013 "Cupid" shot love darts all through my day. Willie left love notes and gifts to my heart in every part of my day.....when my head hit the pillow that night, I felt loved and cherished to my very core. He "knocked it out of the park" as we tease each other in his familiar baseball language. The perfection of that day will always be remembered, however it was unrealistic to think it would carry us through the other 364 days of that year. Ups and downs continued. Marriage swung between messy and marvelous. As we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in Turks & Caicos, we once again experienced a mountain-top like none other and our marriage soared to new heights. Again, not enough to realistically carry us through the remaining days that year. We struggled. We fought. We hurt. We loved. Cycles repeated themselves and the roller coaster never seemed to end. Trusted friends gave godly counsel. Countless prayers were lifted. Marriage counseling was sought. Mentors were found. Our heads knew God was in this, yet our hearts hurt from the humanness that steers us away from one another; focusing on our own brokenness and expectations. Broken pieces in desperate need of glue.....God's KrazyGlue.
We continued moving forward, even when at times we didn't know how we would make it one more day as a couple. Too many pieces and fragments to know how to rebuild our marriage. Through God's grace, we faithfully and painstakingly trusted God and exercised much patience, grace, and love. Through God's grace our marriage slowly began to look more like what God designed us to be. We both brought baggage into our marriage and both contributed to accumulating more over our years together. Marriage is hard work and not always roses and chocolates. Two messy people joining as one do not cancel out the other's messy; we just make a bigger mess together. :)
Looking back over the past year, I can see God's hands with us in every moment together and every person He sent across our path. He never left us alone, nor did He allow our brokenness to defeat what He joined together for forever. While we were focusing on putting the pieces back together to be what our marriage "used to be", God knew He could glue our pieces back together to make a new marriage. The love of Christ in us is the KrazyGlue of love that binds our hearts together. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39), and when He is the center of our marriage, nothing can separate us from one another. We are KrazyGlued together, forever.
This Valentines Day, 2014, we can look back and see how God became (or should I say, has always been) the KrazyGlue in our love story. He never let anything pull us apart and He promises that nothing ever will. Will there still be trials? Yes. Will there be seasons of regression? Yes. Will there be moments when marriage gets messy again? YES! There is no perfect wife or perfect husband, so there is no perfect marriage. BUT, there is a perfect God who glues two broken pieces together in such a way that they become the strength of the adhesive love between them and thus, inseparable with the love of Christ!
While the memories of the amazing Valentines Day last year are still fresh, and can threaten to create expectations for a repeat this year, our simple gifts this year of a WillowTree "Together" couple and a homemade banana cream pie reflect far more intimate gifts. We are together, holding one another tightly; knowing each other's heart and what makes them feel loved. The greatest Valentine's gift this year is the season in our marriage marked with God's KrazyGlue.
Resources that I highly recommend for marriages:
#1 is God's Holy Word. Read the Bible and pray together DAILY
http://lysaterkeurst.com/capture-his-heart/
http://lysaterkeurst.com/capture-her-heart
http://sharonjaynes.com/store/products/becoming-the-woman-of-his-dreams/
http://therespectdare.com/about-the-book
http://sharonjaynes.com/praying-for-your-husband/
http://www.familylife.com/audio
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/momentstogether/
http://drjamesdobson.org/broadcasts/archive
http://mensteppingup.com/
http://www.mansfieldsbookofmanlymen.com/
http://beyondordinary.refineus.org/
My Sweet Spots
---Prompted by the devotion link at the bottom---
Not everyone has been gifted the same skill sets. Good thing, or life would be cookie cutter boring! We are all one body in Christ as I have been studying in Ephesians. Knees are just as important as fingernails. Imagine life without either of them for a moment......
Many times I try to adopt the skill sets I admire in others. I become discontent with my own gifts and rank them as insignificant when I begin the dangerous slope of comparison. So as I seek to serve the One who created me and my purposes, I will joyfully use my simple sweet spots for His glory:
Lord, use these gifts from You and highlight all the areas I can be Your hands and feet......
Finding Your Sweet Spot--P31 devotion
Not everyone has been gifted the same skill sets. Good thing, or life would be cookie cutter boring! We are all one body in Christ as I have been studying in Ephesians. Knees are just as important as fingernails. Imagine life without either of them for a moment......
Many times I try to adopt the skill sets I admire in others. I become discontent with my own gifts and rank them as insignificant when I begin the dangerous slope of comparison. So as I seek to serve the One who created me and my purposes, I will joyfully use my simple sweet spots for His glory:
- kindness delivered from my kitchen
- crafting heart hugs for others
- seeking out the hurting and bringing Christ to them
- passion for children and their fragile hearts
- mailing pieces of my heart in personal notes
- organizing celebrations that make others feel special
- pouring myself into my family
- wholeheartedly serving Christ in ministry
Lord, use these gifts from You and highlight all the areas I can be Your hands and feet......
Finding Your Sweet Spot--P31 devotion
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Love Painted on the Canvas of a Tree
As Valentine's Day approaches this week, my thoughts have been focused on love and how it exists in every aspect of life. God is love and without Him we would never get to experience this incredible emotion and all its dimensions. God created love, He IS love, He sacrificed His love, He designed His children to feel His love, and He gave His children His Spirit for our hearts to be drawn to Him in love. There is no love apart from God.
Today this song was sung so beautifully and the lyrics penetrated my heart as I listened to the powerful words explaining love of the greatest proportion hanging on a tree for me; so that I may spend eternity in the Presence of the God who created me and created love. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" ~1 John 3:1
As you concentrate on love this week and all the different relationships in which it exists, remember that you are the greatest love of Christ. You are Christ's valentine. His selfless love for you is God's greatest masterpiece. Christ lovingly laid down His life for you.....surrender your life to Him and experience True Love.
On the cross with blood you painted, Your Masterpiece
Selfless love hanging on a tree, for me
Your out stretched arms a portrait, for all to see
Selfless love hanging on a tree, for me
Your Masterpiece--Ashmont Hill
Today this song was sung so beautifully and the lyrics penetrated my heart as I listened to the powerful words explaining love of the greatest proportion hanging on a tree for me; so that I may spend eternity in the Presence of the God who created me and created love. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" ~1 John 3:1
As you concentrate on love this week and all the different relationships in which it exists, remember that you are the greatest love of Christ. You are Christ's valentine. His selfless love for you is God's greatest masterpiece. Christ lovingly laid down His life for you.....surrender your life to Him and experience True Love.
On the cross with blood you painted, Your Masterpiece
Selfless love hanging on a tree, for me
Your out stretched arms a portrait, for all to see
Selfless love hanging on a tree, for me
Your Masterpiece--Ashmont Hill
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