"Women and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hormones"

You can see them on my face.  You can see them in my jeans.  You can see them in my attitude.  No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to disguise my hormones.  "Next month will be different."  It never is.  The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result.  That is hormones.  They repeat themselves with great predictability, yet I still expect myself to be able to control them for a better result.  I am insane to think hormones are controllable.  Where does that leave me?  Depressed.

For a year now I have said good-bye to the hormone "regulating" pills (hahaha) and embraced el-naturale hormones.  Surely those synthetic hormones were to blame for the repetitive roller coasters.  Guess what?  They're still terrible.  They're still horrible.  And they still repeat the misery with 100% predictability.  It's like seeing a freight train coming and knowing it's going to run you over...again.  Insane people think, "it won't hit me this time".  It always does.  Where does that leave me?  Frustrated.

I do not consider myself a quitter.  So for the past year.....I've tried diet, exercise, increased water in-take, extra sleep, "happy" pills, "water" pills, acne creams, and read too many books on PMS to count!  Yet, to no avail, have I found a defense against the hormones that continue to wage war on my body, my spirit, and subsequently my family.  How discouraging it is to be stuck--your spirit wants to be joyful, but your hormones keep sending you back to the familiar, and seemingly unavoidable pit.

As a Christian, I understand and wholeheartedly believe in the hundreds of Bible verses speaking to the condition of the soul.  God is my All and has promised to meet my every need.  Yet the struggle with the terrible, no good, very bad hormones continues.   This leads me to God, my Creator.  Hormones are no mistake on God's part.  He created them with purpose.  However, simply listing the pros of hormones will not level out the scale that is severely tipped to the negative side.  I must trust in His plan.  Heaven is promised to have no more sickness, no more tears, and no more suffering.  I believe Heaven will have no more hormones!  For all eternity!!!  So how do I function in the "now" while waiting on the "one day"?

The trial and error will surely continue.  I will keep searching Google for remedies to try and may even look into a hormone specialist (they exist, don't they?).  Either way, I will have to hit menopause at some point, right?  This hormone war can only last so long!  If nothing else, I will have earned medals for Bravery (going into public with severe bloating), Combat (fighting those monster zits), Marksmanship (poor Willie!), Purple Heart (mood swing casualties), and Tactical Achievement (evading PMS missile strikes) by the time I either get to menopause or "hormone-free Heaven"!